There is an old proverb that says, “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” We all know that a good laugh can make us feel good. But did you know that laughing can actually cause positive changes in the body that protect us from disease? It’s like having a mini workout; our muscles get exercised, blood flow increases, our immune system gets a boost and stress hormones decrease.
And since clocks is what we’re all about, what better subject could we pick than time and clocks to stir a laugh or two out of you?
So here’s our lineup of 26 clock jokes. The first 14 are our very own Well Made Clock creations. Happy laughing!
Q: Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask?
A: He was looking for a timely solution.
Q: Why was the clock in the gazebo?
A: It was time out.
Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!
Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.
Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.
Q: What did the street clock say to the tower clock?
A: High there!
Q: Where did the clock finish the race?
A: Wherever it wound up.
Q: Why did the historian measure a clock?
A: To know the beginning and end of time.
Q: “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul” Mark 8:36 —This is not a joke.
Q: What did the second hand say to the hour hand as it passed by?
A: See you again in a minute.
Q: Why didn’t the cuckoo come out of his door?
A: He had stage fright.
Q: Why did the pendulum stop moving?
A: It lost its swing.
Q: Why did the tardy man stop to purchase a clock?
A: He wanted to buy time.
Q: What do you call a story that one clock tells to another?
A: Second hand information.
Q: What did the unwound clock say to its owner?
A: It’s about time!
Q: What did the watch say to the clock?
A: Hour you doing?
Q: Why did the girl sit on her watch?
A: She wanted to be on time!
Q: Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken?
A: A cluck
Q: How can you tell if a clock is hungry?
A: It’ll go back four seconds!
Q: What dog always knows the time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What time was it when the elephant sat on the clock?
A: Time to get a new clock.
Q: Why did the man put a clock under his desk?
A: He wanted to work over time.
Q: What happens when you annoy a clock?
A: It gets ticked off.
Q: Why didn’t the clock work?
A: It needed a hand.
Q: What do you call a grandfather clock?
A: An old timer.
Q: Why did the boy put an alarm clock in his shoe?
A: He didn’t want his foot to fall asleep.
Q: Why did the clock get sent to the principal’s office?
A: It was tocking too much.
Q: What time does the duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn.
Q: What candy never arrives on time?